It always makes me crack a smile when my fellow Washingtoinans get all giddy about a dusting of snow. One of the main reasons I moved here (Vancouver, USA) from Utah was to escape the vile snow. I think the main reason for my hatred of it is due largely to the memories of trudging through 2-3 feet of it with fishsticks for toes while spreading the good news on frozen Sad-turd-day mornings. Sun's shinin' right now, think I'll go fishin'.
Low-Key Lysmith
JoinedPosts by Low-Key Lysmith
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20
It snowed last night
by Mulan infinally we have snow!.
it snowed night before last, but was melting by the time we got up.
last night it snowed again, and it's still snowing.
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The Untold Smurf Story -- Soldier of Fortune / XJW Edition January 2005
by Bendrr innote to mods: this issue has been edited and i'd like to re-submit it for the perusal of jwd.
leaving no shark unjumped, sof's xjw staff is thrilled to present our readers with an all-new format.
we're now a website instead of crude jpeg's, though we're still proud to be crude.
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Low-Key Lysmith
Man, that pic of the microphone boom made me shoot Diet Pepsi out both nostrils....Priceless!!!
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For Little Toe and other Clansmen
by xjw_b12 inbaseball
a scotsman moves to the usa and attends his first baseball game.
the first batter approached the batters' box, took a few swings and
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Low-Key Lysmith
What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Highlander?
Mick Jagger says "hey, you get of of my cloud".
A Highlander says "hey MacLeod, get offa ma ewe!"
I relate this joke with the best of regards, I have no intent to insult anyone. It just cracks my ass up.
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Cabbage Patch Dolls?
by KKLUV155 inlooking at the smurf thread i was wondering, in my congregation in the 80's there were also storys of demonic cabbage patch dolls attacking jw kids.
i wasn't allowed to have one because they might be demonized.
was it just my cong.
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Low-Key Lysmith
I haven't been to a meeting in 13 years and it never ceases to amaze me how these asinine JW urban legends seem to reciprocate and endure. I remember the smurf and cabbage patch kids stuff from when I was a kid. Here's a good one...our PO when I was little got up on stage and during his talk told the cong that Star Wars was evil and demonized because of the use of "The Force". I guess demons were raising hell a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
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As A JW, Were You Ever Spat On, Stuff Thrown At You, Etc.?
by Yizuman inany bad situations you run into while door to door?
dogs being sic'ed on you?
people say some really vulgar things to you?
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Low-Key Lysmith
This crotchety old bastard pointed a shotgun @ me and the old man one Sad-turd-day morning. I can still hear my dad praying out loud for protection as we sprinted down the old codger's driveway. I grew up a JW in Utah of all places. Mormons are just like JWs in the fact that they hate anyone who is not their own. I got all kinds of juvenile acts pulled on me as a kid. Beat up alot. etc.
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where to now
by betrayedbyall inconfused, worried, angry, hurt and lots more - 45 years a witness and now disassociated last 3 weeks, family friends now shun me, very much alone, i need advice please please please, where do i go from here, anyone help please.
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Low-Key Lysmith
Keep your chin up betrayed. When I was DF'd, all kinds of wildly trumped up charges were made against me. The fact that I had listened to The Doors on occasion was brought up as a reason for my ousting. Crazy accusations of fornication, incest, violence, devil worship, the list goes on & on. I am a much better person now. I have lots of "worldy" friends who really love me and never talk smack behind my back. They're pretty much the only family I have now, but I'm okay with that. Life is better. It's been 13 years. I don't even know my family anymore. My dad won't talk to me. My sisters were just kids then, all grown up now. I don't even know who they are.
Take time out for yourself. Do something harmless you've always wanted to do but didn't because the society frowned on it. Buy Christmas presents. Celebrate your next birthday, hell, celebrate your dog's birthday. Re-build. Just learn to stand on your own. My biggest problem at first was trying too hard to make people accept me. I didn't realize that I just had to be myself. I felt so lost, so alone, so uncool, so different. Go down to the pub, get yerself a wee dram, engage in conversation with some "worldly" bloke. You will soon come to find that not all people who arent in the org are blind or deluded. It will hurt alot for a while. 13 years later for me it still stings like hell sometimes. This website is a good outlet. You will find that you will need to vent alot. It helps to know that there are other "brothers and sisters" out there who share your pain.
Be strong, don't give up on love. Everything will be ok.
Breck
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If You Could Rename Jehovah's Witnesses What Would You Call 'em?
by Incense_and_Peppermints ini chose "the society of smoke and mirrors" or "the fuzzy logicians".
but the best one is "the blindfaithians".
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Low-Key Lysmith
If they handed out bottles of maple syrup with the Watchtower and Awake, you could call 'em Jemima's Witnesses.
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ARHG!! I cant stand it!
by filip ini know you all have adviced me just to keep low-profile and not bang out and tell my super-elder dad that i dont believe in his crap.
but i just cant stand it!
all around me everywhere i go theres this vomiting sense of thick jw-air.
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Low-Key Lysmith
Hang in there buddy! I was exactly your age when I started to smell the b.s. I, however was baptised. I pretty much was forced to live a double-life for I too had a Super Elder for an old man. I have to caution you not to go down the path I did. Drugs, booze, casual sex. I got disfellowshipped at 18. My entire world dropped out from under me. My extended family are all Witnesses too and I havn't spoken a word to any of them in 13 years. It's like an atom bomb going off all around you and everyone you ever knew, loved, or trusted is gone in a flash. I had to move out and find my own place while I was still in High school. I got married @ age 20 just to have something to hold on to. With all that behind me. I began to re-raise myself and develope a new way of thinking and interacting with the rest of the world around me. Over time I have done a really good job. I've got a good job, a nice house, a loving and devoted fiance, and countless friends who genuinely care about me. All in all I'm a pretty lucky guy. Just remember it will be rough until you can get out of there and make your own decisions. Ultimately, all this hardship will make you stronger. I promise.
Breck
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JW Funerals
by Low-Key Lysmith ini have been disfellowshipped for 13 years.
last april, my mom passed away from pancreatic cancer.
she was still a very active witness until the day she died as is the rest of my family.
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Low-Key Lysmith
Hey Swan,
Are there any EX-Dub meeting groups in the P-town area that you know of?
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The Great Tribulation............When??
by ScoobySnax inapologies if this has been asked before, but.... when i was growing up into the fabulously handsome critter i am nowadays, i always remember talk of the great tribulation that would not only befall mankind but overtake this system of things in the near future.
in fact one of my earliest memories was standing in a queue that seemed to go on for miles (i was only 7) outside with my mum and aunt/cousins at a cinema to see starwars, so i reckon it must have been 1977 and listening to them talk of it.
anyway i digress, what and when exactly is the "great tribulation" according to jw beliefs.
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Low-Key Lysmith
I remember my mom always saying that "this system of things cant possibly last another 5 years." Later it was "this system of things will never see the year 2000." What a lot of these people don't think about is when has there ever been a time when there wasn't earthquakes in one place after another, when havn't men been faint out of fear, or lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of god, wars, reports of wars, on and on and on. History has always repeated istself. How is it any different now?